Posłuchaj jednej z wielu niesamowitych TEDTalks, brat David Steindl – Rast, mnich benedyktyński i badacz międzywyznaniowy, mówi o drodze do szczęścia poprzez wdzięczność. Zapraszam też na stronę TEDTalks , w razie gdyby ktoś chciała wesprzeć się językowo, proszę o skorzystanie z interaktywnego tłumaczenia lub napisów.
Wpis jest zainspirowany zapisem z TED i wystąpieniem DavidaSteindl-Rast – zachęcam Ciebie do obejrzenia przed przeczytaniem.
W języku polskim ze słowem SZCZĘŚCIE możemy połączyć dwa czasowniki, które nadają mu kompletnie różne znaczenia.
– Możesz MIEĆ szczęście.Coś rozumiane jako fart – czyli coś, na co z założenia nie masz wpływu – a, że lubię upraszczać sobie życie, to staram się pomijać rozważania na tematy, na które nie mamy wpływu. Dlatego ten wpis nie będzie o „lotto-marzeniach”.
– Możesz też ODCZUWAĆ szczęście – tu zdecydowanie jestem zdania, że mamy na to wpływ. Dlatego będzie właśnie o tym, jak zbudować pozytywne nawyki z tym związane.
Niewątpliwie odczuwanie szczęścia jest czymś wewnętrznym. Czymś, co zanim znajdzie upust na zewnątrz poprzez wyrażanie Twojej radości, musi najpierw zaistnieć w Tobie. To jest moim zdaniem najprostsze wyjaśnienie, dlaczego uzależnianie szczęścia od czegoś zewnętrznego jest ślepą uliczką. Niestety w dzisiejszych czasach jesteśmy nieustannie poddawani wpływom reklam, mediów, otoczenia i wszystkich innych na zewnątrz, którzy wiedzą lepiej, co jest nam potrzebne,żebyśmy byli szczęśliwi. Dlatego rozpędzamy się coraz bardziej, nie patrząc na co dzień na boki, że uliczka ta staje się coraz węższa. Nie patrzymy też w przód, że na końcu tego wyścigu już nie ma drogi.
Dlatego bardzo mi się podobało, co powiedział David i pewna prosta zasada, której uczymy dzieci, kiedy pokonują jakąś drogę:
- Stop – zatrzymaj się, nie pędź przez chwilę, daj sobie czas na krok następny.
- Look – zobacz, czy to za czym pędzisz jest tym, czego pragniesz naprawdę.
- Go – podążaj,jak będziesz przekonany, że to jest TWOJA droga.
Gdybym tym wpisem liczył, że uczynię wszystkich ludzi szczęśliwymi, zakrawało by to trochę na bluźnierstwo. Często ludzie choć deklarują, że pragną szczęścia, tak naprawdę sami je sabotują swoimi myślami, przepełnionymi zazdrością, żądzą, zawiścią i innym jadem, który niszczy ich samych i ich otoczenie. Dlaczego tak robią? Często z braku wiary w siebie, ale też z przyzwyczajenia do tych myśli. Paradoksalnie jest to ich strefa komfortu – coś, co dobrze znają.
Nie mniej jednak wierzę, że jesteś jedną z tych osób, które mają w sobie odwagę do wprowadzania zmian. Chcę Ci postawić pewne wyzwanie, nawiązujące do filmu, który mam nadzieję zobaczyłeś.
Będzie Ci potrzebny notes, długopis, konsekwencja i determinacja, by mieć wpływ na coś, na co tylko Ty masz.
PRZEZ 30 DNI, PRZED ZAŚNIĘCIEM, ZAPISZ SOBIE 8 ZDAŃ OPISUJĄCYCH ZA CO JESTEŚ WDZIĘCZNY.
Dlaczego 30? Liczę, że efekt Ci się spodoba i będziesz to kontynuować już nie jako wyzwanie, ale jako część swojego życia. Dlaczego 8? Bo gdybym powiedział Ci 108, to już pierwszego dnia myślałbyś, że to jest to tak bardzo trudne, że prawie niemożliwe. Jeżeli chcesz sprawdzić, wymień teraz szybko 8 obszarów swojej wdzięczności – łatwizna? No to #doitnow 30 x 8.
Jeżeli uda Ci się rozszerzyć to zadanie poza notes i wprowadzić jako nawyk myślowy, stanie się to dla Ciebie bardzo silnym pancerzem, który będzie Ciebie chronić przed zewnętrznymi czynnikami. Takimi, które mogą wpływać na Twoje poczucie szczęścia – przed sytuacjami, których chciałbyś uniknąć, które mogą nie być dla Ciebie miłe. Bądź realistą. Nie uciekniesz przed nimi i często nie masz na nie wpływu. Masz za to ogromny wpływ na to, jaką reakcję wywołują one w Tobie i czy im ulegasz.
Ja, gdy mam słabszy dzień (tak – ja też nie jestem robotem, a czasem wstanę lewą nogą), gdy jest mi ciężko, gdy wszystko mi podpowiada odpuść sobie, wtedy myślę o moich dzieciach.Jestem ogromnie wdzięczny za to, że są w moim życiu, że to życie zmieniły, za to, jak ja zmieniłem się dzięki nim. Za to, że dzisiaj czasem mogę nawet rozpłakać się ze szczęścia dzięki nim i jestem z tego dumny. Prawie tak samo jak jestem dumny z nich.
Nawet, jeżeli nie masz dzieci, to jestem pewien, że gdy dobrze poszukasz w sobie, to też znajdziesz coś, za co możesz być wdzięczny, a ta wdzięczność uczyni Ciebie szczęśliwszym. Zacznij od tych oczywistych, tych dużych i ważnych, ale nie poprzestawaj na tym. Ja kiedyś wyliczając do 108 moje wdzięczności, dziękowałem nawet za bardzo błahe „rzeczy”… chcesz przykład?
Pisałem w poście o porannych zimnych prysznicach – o tych wieczornych, ciepłych pełnych relaksu i ukojenia – to jest chwila, w której jestem wdzięczny za ciepłą wodę. Paradoksalnie od czasu, gdy o 5 rano chodzę na siłownię, w której nie ma prawdziwie zimnej wody, to ilekroć znów wezmę naprawdę zimny prysznic,to go doceniam, choć dalej nie lubię.
Zastanów się, ile razy byłeś wdzięczny za to, że zdążyłeś z czymś na czas albo, że miałeś wszystkie potrzebne zasoby. Za to, co po prostu masz lub to, czego doświadczyłeś. Szczerze życzę Ci szczęścia.
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